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Thursday, February 26, 2004Illuminati… they really do exist!I recently came upon a blog (I won’t link it, as it is vulgar, racist, and hateful) by a guy who claims to be a “true Angel fan.” You know what he means- he’s not the kind of guy who throws around Rally Monkeys or claps for sac-bunts. He’s the kind of guy who understands that Darrin Erstad is over rated and that Alfredo Amezaga lost his “prospect” status long ago. In short- he’s a pompous, elitist asshole. Those things may all be descriptions of a person who loves and understands the game of baseball. It does not describe a person who is a better fan then anyone else in the park. I’ve noticed in my years of following the Angels a that the fans have been split into two distinct groups. First we have the average Angel fans. These are parents who bring their family to the ballpark because it’s the only affordable family entertainment in Orange County. These are the young girls who hold up signs with marriage proposals to David Eckstien. These are people who started rooting for the Angels in August 2002 because it was the cool thing to do. This group cheers loudly when told by the Jumbotron. They don’t know much about what’s happening on the field- and they don’t care to. They just love the ballpark and the club that plays there. I call this group the “Masses.” The second group is what I like to call "The Illuminati." Their defining trait is simple: they look down on the Masses. Illuminati believe that the Masses are to stupid to understand the game of baseball, and therefore should not get to enjoy it. Anyone who claps for a sacrifice is an idiot, and anyone who thinks that the most important statistic is “hustle-factor” is what’s wrong with baseball today. They tend to sit on their hands throughout game, preferring to make snide comments about the people siting a couple rows up. The Illuminati consider themselves “the real Angels fans.” The Angels, without a doubt, have the largest disparity between casual fans and those “in the know.” Blame it on Disney or blame it on family-first OC, either way you have to accept the fact that while you may be smarter then the average fan, you are no better then the average fan. Keep that in mind, and never join the Illuminati. I don’t want to get to mushy here, but we’re all in this together, and without all of us there would be no team to support. God knows I can’t stand the Rally Monkey, and it kills me when an uninformed father tries to explain the infield-fly rule to his son- but I bite my tongue. Where do I get off telling anyone how to enjoy a baseball game? Just because I pretend to get Sabrmetrics, does that mean that my support is anymore valuable to the club? Of course not, I am just as much a fan as everyone else. I say we need to declare war on this dark brotherhood known as the Illuminati! Next time you see a guy at the game roll his eyes at the cheering Masses, grab his score book and smack him with it. And next time the person next to asks a stupid question smile and answer it politely. Together we can end the segregation! |
