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Sunday, June 27, 2004Non-baseball: Truly the party of toleranceWho didn't see this coming? This reminds me of when I went to see Star Wars: Episode One at the Mann's Chinese on opening night. Yes, I was there, in line, with all the other geeks- but I only arrived a couple hours prior to show time, I swear. My friend was the one who slept on the sidewalk for three days. Anyway, as we were exiting the theater, we came across a large group of protesters on the opposite corner. They were holding signs and screaming at the top of their lungs- now get this- "Star Wars is the Devil!" I shit you not. The leader was even wearing a cheesy Devil Halloween costume. Think John Lovitz- only fatter. I have no clue what could ever drive someone to compare a science-fiction flick to the dark lord of the underworld, and what's more I have no interest in ever finding out. I stayed on the opposite side of the street with a group who I considered to be more "my kind." Now, I'm ashamed to admit this, but "my kind" included a man dressed as Boba Fett (well, it actually included men dressed as every character you could possibly think of, including an R2-D2, who I assume was someone's child or a very industrious midget) who decided he had to know what the hub-bub was all about. Needless to say, a man who constructs an entire Boba Fett costume in his free time probably takes his Star Wars pretty seriously. He was not about to have his favorite film- nay, his life, insulted by a group of rabble-rousers. He walked toward the group with great purpose, as if to defend his honor on the field of battle. As I said, I kept my distance from these people, so I have no idea what the conversation entailed or what the group's dogma may have been. What ever was said must have struck a nerve with Mr. Fett, because after about a minute of relatively civil discourse, he reached out and snatched the Devil's crudely illustrated sign. As you might expect, the Devil took exception to this. A shoving match ensued. Things began to get rough. We were all frozen in our tracks. I'm not exaggerating here- traffic literally stopped at the sight of Boba Fett trapped in the headlock of an obese Devil. No one moved an inch. No one attempted to break-up the fight- not even the police. No one attempted to help one man or the other. Everyone just watched as these two uber-nerds had a knockdown drag-out of epic proportions in the streets of Hollywood. The police finally had to step-in when the Devil forced Boba to the ground and began wailing on his now exposed face (his helmet had popped off during the initial shoving). They cuffed both men (after they stopped laughing, of course) and began walking them toward the theater, though hey did have to stop halfway across the street so Boba could retrieve his helmet. Is there a point to this story, you ask? Why yes there is! The point of the story is that none of my stories ever have a point, so you might as well stop asking. |
